Summer to Fall - What's Happened

Although I haven't written in here for a long, long while, this blog is always on my mind. Why? Because the struggle to detox my body from unwanted chemicals is a long one. I went off wheat gluten for a while. Always feel better when I do...then, lo and behold, June came upon me and my cousin came into town from Florida with her four grandaughters. All we did was drink wine and eat pizza.

So...back on the wheat.

Not a good thing. Went off wheat a couple of weeks ago. Lost 4 pounds in 2 days. My body swells up from the gluten. So...now what?

I've come to the realization that I'd rather be thoughtful about what I put into my body. I'm concentrating on whole foods. Not packaged.

Challenge: my daughter will only eat chicken mcnuggets for her protein source. Second favorite source of protein is cheese for her. So...we live as best we can.

New realization: detox also means getting all of the not-so-healthy people out of your immediate circle. Of course, that's nearly impossible. Because, as my eight year old points out to me, 'even some of your best friends are secretly your frenemies.'

So....how to deal directly with frenemies...which I define as people who pretend that they are your friends and have your best interest at heart but who, behind your back, talk about you and work against you. Some of my frenemies amaze me. We won't say who they are. Trust me, they are not following this blog!

Detox Feels Good

I haven't written a post since Feb. 8 - just been busy. Today I'm feeling a little sick - yesterday I had some sort of flu. Since I started conciously detoxing - I've been very focused on what I put in and out of my body. Alchohol feels toxic to me. I can only manage about a half a glass of wine and that seems to be more than enough.

I'm doing more routine exercise each day and seeing results. 50 ballet plies, 50 plus squats, and at least 50 situps per day. I need to work on a routine for my arms and upper body. The latter were mainly to shape my lower extremities and flatten my tummy. Its working. I'm realizing that the older you get, the less muscle tone you have, and also after having children there is really a long, long road to getting back from it. So, I'm committing to the long and permanent road of staying in shape in old age - which isn't easy.

My dad is 79 and he swims and lifts weights three times a week. He looks great. He is still working. He's a good role model for me. That's it for today. Concious detox works.

Not an Easy Day

Today was not an easy day. When you become self-aware, it's harder to ignore things. Today my husband went around my back and did something and I became very angry about it. It's not something I feel like going into - but he trapped me into a situation that I cannot get out of. And he's leaving out our littlest daughter and bringing our older daughter instead. I'm furious. I can't ignore it either.

Too many other crises to even talk about. Just happy to still be taking care of my body. Gotta take care of my soul a teeny bit better tho.

Wondering What to Do Now

So...you try to get healthy. Okay, drink water, check. Try not to drink too much. Check. No wheat. Check. Minimize dairy. Check. And...try to be self-aware? Try to be aware of your diet. Your food intake. Your water intake. Losing weight or gaining weight? Feeling bloated? Do I feel like myself today? Am I being genuine? my authentic self? I find that hard to answer sometimes. I wonder at times during the day, who I am...who people think I am. I ignore it most of the time because that type of thinking has become debilitating.

But....now what? Now that I've completely cleaned my car...organized my cabinets (not all of them...but you get the point...stopped eating toxic foods....I am found that, eerily, I'm left with my own self and my own thoughts, my own self esteem...and really, the what now question.

Now that I'm actually taking care of myself, I see that NOT taking care of yourself is a way to mask -- from yourself -- your true feelings, your true motives, the world around you, what is and isn't happening in your life, your relationships, and so on.

More and more, I am thinking that NOT taking care of yourself is some sort of crutch.

Managing Diet - Managing Your Day

A couple of things. First, I have to say that cutting out - and mostly staying away from wheat 99% of the time has literally cured all of my digestive ills, and most of my aches and pains. According to Food Allergy Solutions (http://www.foodallergysolutions.com/food-allergy-news0403.html) allergies have been linked to chronic inflammation of joints and hence, chronic arthritis.

Also if you take NSAIDS or even aspirin to treate your conditions, you actually can do damage of the long term. First, you can increase your blood pressure from NSAIDS. See the studies in the link above. Second you can cause intestinal damage...also in the link above. At the bottom of the article is a whole host of studies relating arthritis to chronic inflammation.

As a former chronic user of Ibuprofin - I am thanking goodness that I discovered this wheat allergy. My god. I hate to admit it but I was taking anywhere from 4 to 10 NSAIDS a day thinking - oh, there is no harm in this. Well...that was over the last 15 years. That's kind of frightening. But, I'll move on and not think about it. It does more harm to worry than good. Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you - the old adage.

Suffice it to say that if you have a food allergy or food sensitivity, staying away from that food will do alot more good over the long term than you may realize. The effects of not having to deal with pain and inflammation, every day, are amazing. Talk about feeling good!!

Clean Car, Clean Mind, Clean Heart

Yesterday my husband and I went out in my car, and I desperately wiped the dashboard clean so he didn't have to see all the dust that had built up on the dashboard.  I then decided we would take it to the carwash; and then later cleaned some more. I had an aha moment. First, he mentioned how he liked driving the car yesterday - and I said, it's really nice when it's clean.

And I was right.

But . . . . why don't I consider myself good enough to keep my car clean for? It's a conundrum. I brought out some cleaning stuff and clean some more in between my errands and the gym. And I thought. Hmm. My car is not so bad after all. In fact, it's damn comfy! And nice! And it's got bells and whistles that I never, ever use. Because, I guess, I don't need them. Or deep down, perhaps, they are too much for me? I don't deserve them? well . . . I have to say . . . I felt so great later in the day when I came in from driving my spiffy clean car. And I am sure that I need to now add that to my growing list of things I must do each week to make myself feel better.

This was a tiny step but today, I actually felt self-esteem growing inside of me.

Ahhhhh. And all this on a Sunday.

Reducing Toxins

Yesterday I read an article from a parent of a child with seizures. They put their child on the modified Akins Diet (which is a special seizure diet that sometimes helps to control seizures). They also got rid of all toxins and replaced all products in the home with natural products. The child was seizure free for two years and then was able to go off of all her medications.

This is a story that notes merit - not because this is the cure for all seizures, but because it is definately an indicator that perhaps some seizures are being caused by toxins - food allergies, and toxins in our environment. I pay heed to it for my own health in that, the longer I completely stay away from wheat, which appears to be my worst toxin, the better I feel on a day to day basis. I'm 47 - so this is startling to me, that I haven't realized this until about the last year or two. I also realize not that I can really only tolerate about a half a glass of wine before I just don't even feel myself. I'm not sure why this is - perhaps my tolerance has decreased. I'm considering going off all alchohol for a month - but have to plan that out and stick to it, as I do go to alot of functions on the weekends with friends and it actually does help me, a very type A personality, to relax.

On to a toxin-free day!!